Quite frankly, it's difficult to compose when you are biting at the air, while running around in circles while trying to maintain your mental and physical health, manage a house, manage finances while dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. I couldn't hold my thoughts together to concentrate on any one challenge at a time.
Honestly, I don't know where to begin in writing about my whirlwind life. It's much like the argument about the chicken and the egg - I'm not even sure what event even happened first - Gary's illness, the financial mess, dealing with health care and health insurance - but one thing is certain; all finally caught up with me bringing me close to having a heart attack or possibly a stroke.
Yep, taken by ambulance to the hospital ER with a heart rate of 160 that was increasing. I was given Nitro in the ambulance, had my heart stopped twice in the ER in an attempt to 'reboot' it to slow down. Admitted and spent the night with multiple tests including a chest X-ray, an EKG and an Echocardiogram along with the myriad of blood work. I slept well - wish it was a longer stay because as soon as I got home I had to deal with the same old bullshit that sent me to the ER in the first place. I wish the hospital had kept me for a week; I needed the rest.
Well, there is plenty to write about but now I'm tired. My energy level is at a low but I will write more soon - maybe tonight and break down every detail.